The silent but annoying symptoms of stress.

nobody@vox.com(Joie) — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 05:26:59 -0500

I am Joie's Raging Inability to Sleep. (And Joie, apparently, is still reading or at least thinking about reading Fight Club.)

For the past several weeks, I've been mostly unable to go back to sleep if I'm woken up after about 8 in the morning. (Okay, I realize lots of people need to be up before that time--I do, too, some days--but I'm a college student, and damn it all, I reserve my right to sleep until 3 in the afternoon whenever I feel like it.) It's... exceptionally annoying. But as soon as I wake up inadvertently or am woken up by someone/thing, my head starts going, making a list of what needs to be done, and any hope of remaining blissfully asleep is gone.

Apparently in the days leading up to my recital, this time has been pushed back to 5 in the freaking morning. No less, on a Sunday. I give you the big DOUBLE-YOU TEE EFF, brain. Brian (...a surprising juxtaposition of two words only a letter swap apart [holy shit I know how to use "juxtaposition" at 5 in the morning?!]) called me after returning home from his very late gig, and as soon as I got off the phone my brain started thinking, "You're really not comfortable enough with that Beethoven sonata yet. You should practice."

Ok, Brain, I thought back, we'll practice today. A lot.
"We should probably go through it, I dunno, a lot of times in a row," nagged Brain.
Yes, I agree. We'll get right on that today and do it every day until my recital, Brain. I proceeded to go back to sleep.
"...Joie?" pestered Brain. "I think Brian called you before this last time and you said something really stupid out of sleepiness. I can't remember what it was. What was it?"
~ a call to Brian to confirm I in fact, did not answer the first time he called and did not say anything stupid related to the dream I was having about Coda, Heather's new baby bunny ~
There, Brain. Nothing said. No bunnies mentioned. Good-night.
"You have to wear a dress and heels today."
Irrelevant information, Brain. Good-night.
"...You still have to name those three movements of the flute and marimba piece, you know. I wonder if anyone's at the practice rooms now?"
...Okay, I'm up.

This is the part where I assure you I'm not insane. But I think it was Nick who noted his affinity for my I-woke-up-ridiculously-early-and-can't-go-back-to-sleep-posts, and this one goes out to him.

Off I go to the music building. At 5:25. In the morning. On a Sunday.

Edited to Add: Ah, and if you didn't figure it out, I passed my piano jury. Much drama was involved, including my almost failing it after the first piece I played--a Bach prelude and fugue, bless the man--but after agreeing to drop that piece and recovering pretty well considering how upset I was, they passed me! I'm glad to be rid of it, honestly.

Edit #2: The only thing more annoying than waking up at 5 in the morning with an urge to practice is going to the music building at 5:30 in the morning and discovering one's security card apparently won't let you in that early. And that Captain McResponsible on the University Police has decided that maybe he'll go ahead and do his job this time and lock every door in the building. A grrr on everyone!!!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Wish I was an English muffin...

The silent but annoying symptoms of stress.