26 posts tagged “funny”

I'm in the process of putting together a long post.  To make a long story short, in writing it I was distracted by the website ThinkGeek.com, which has apparently undergone some major changes and is described by its banner as "NOW WITH MORE AWESOME!"  Apparently, to fit in the extra awesome they laid off a little bit of the math, as suggested by the ROCKIN' SALE PRICE on this item:

(Sorry for the abundance of Fritz on this blog.  It'll calm down eventually.  Although really, if you get sick of seeing animals, I'm not sure how we became neighbors in the first place.)

I meant to include this in the last update as an example of Fritz's madness; Deltan's comment reminded me.  Fritz is entirely obsessed with this folding planet chair we have.  It used to be a lovely, solid black.  It now looks like:

No, I exaggerate.  In reality it looks like this:
I captured some video of his Chair o' Madness in the early stages of his love affair.  I need to get some new video because if you can believe it, he actually goes much crazier over it now than what you see in this vid.  Also, you may notice he has a freakishly long tail.  He seems to have noticed it too, and his eternal struggle to shorten it by biting off the end is always amusing to me.  And so I present you with:
(If Vox is being crappy and won't play the embedded video, here's a link.)

While trying to remember what "NOM" stood for (they've sullied the good name of nom--what it REALLY means), I came across a number of parody videos of the "Gathering Storm" ad.  I've only watched these two so far, but they're pretty hilarious.

As I've mentioned before, Brian does some hilarious impressions of odd things, things you'd never think a person could imitate.  Tonight it was weather radar.  As in, Brian imitated a weather radar depiction of an oncoming storm.  I cannot begin to describe how he did this, but it was hilarious and ...well, good.

What a strange person.

A conversation I just had with Brian after I went to take a nap and found my pillow missing:

"Where's my pillow?"

"Oh, it's on the floor, I threw it on the floor.  I'm sorry."

"Why did you throw it on the floor?"

"I didn't know what it was, so I threw it on the floor."

"...You didn't know what it ... What did you think it was?"

"Yeah, I didn't know what it was."

"...What did you think it was?"

"I didn't know.  I just thought, 'Get off my face!' and threw it on the floor."

"...How did it get on your face?"

"Well, I put it there."

"... Okay."

A few weekends back my dad found, buried away behind the couch, this winter hat I'd bought (and lost) years ago.  How the hat became lodged behind the couch is a matter of speculation, although I suspect I know who the responsible party was--the story behind it:

This was one of those ridiculous hats, made of very fake leopard print fur and with cat ears on top, giving the wearer the illusion of having, well... a cat-head.  It was absurd and I loved it.  One day, not too long after my purchasing this ridiculous monstrosity of headwear, I was wearing it when I walked into the den and encountered my beloved cat Donatello. (Full name:  Dontatello Ninja Cat.  I was very into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the age of 5, when my cat's not-especially-gender-appropriate name was bestowed upon her.)  Imagine my surprise when my own pet, instead of running up to me in greeting, recoiled in fear, arched her back, and inflated her tail to raccoon-like fluffiness. After a pause, I spoke to her, and upon recognizing my voice she calmed and ran up to me as usual (although still a bit wary of my head).

Shortly after this event, my hat disappeared, not to be seen again for several years.  Donatello passed away at the worthy old age of 17, and the hat was only remembered when the story was recounted about Donatello's strange reaction to the giant two-legged cat that approached her.  Until recently, when as I said the hat was discovered--behind the couch.  A completely illogical place for a hat.  Donatello's favorite hiding place to escape those scary things--vaccuums, rambunctious dogs, etc.--that plague a cat's daily existence.

COINCIDENCE?!   I suspect not.  I believe Donatello vowed not to give in to headgear terrorism, and took matters into her own hands.  With no front claws to dole out enough damage to destroy the hat, she hid away the weapon of cat-confidence destruction where no amused human could find it.  I couldn't help but smile imagining it.

So what was the first thing we did upon finding the hat?  Why, test it out on Chloe--who had the exact same fluffed-up, frightened, and cruelly hilarious reaction.

I think Donatello would be amused to know the joke's been passed on to the next generation of household pets.

Courtesy of Heather:

Search the answers on urbandictionary.com.

1. Your name
Joie: Joie isn't defined yet!  Wtf.  I'm-a have to get on that.

2. Your age
23:  (There were some long and more interesting ones, but I choose:) "slang for Dr. Pepper soda, which causes hilarity, tickling sensation in the throat, and defeat on Jeopardy"

3. One of your friends
Ashton:  "someone that is a cokehead and robbes everyone around him"  (Delightful.)

4. What should you be doing?
Working:  "A term to describe the tedious and boring indentured servitude that most people are forced to endure to get money. Generally, not a pleasant experience."  (My workplace is anything but boring, actually...)

5. Your favourite colour
Celery green:  (Actually not my favorite color, but since I can't pick one and a journal I'm looking at is a lovely shade of green, and this definition is hilarious:) 

"Something that ducks like.
Sometimes used for currecny."  (The example definition:  "Ducks like celery.--")

6. Your birthplace
Prattville:  "A town sized black hole in Alabama."  (Ha!)

7. Last person you talked to:
Amanda:  "Amanda does NOT mean "A man DUH" it is a name which means "Love" in the definations of name books."  (Ah, gotta love those name books and their "definations.")

8. Last thing you had to drink
Coke:  (Had to include the examples in this one:)

This evening I busted out the journal I kept during my sophomore year of college, a somewhat embarrassing trip down memory lane that did yield a few nuggets of hilarious comments.  (I always think to myself, "I should really burn old things I've written," but I can never quite bring myself to destroy them.  I'll regret this when I die unexpectedly and everyone reads this crap.)

But I found this entry somewhat amusing/interesting and not too personal to plaster on the Interwebz, so here it is:

Two.  Twenty-four.  Oh-six.

I'm sitting in the Louisville airport by myself, drinking coffee as I wait for my flight home, which I will take by myself.  This makes me a grown-up.

As I'm drinking my coffee, I notice printed on the cup a quote.  My eyes skip to the author, and it takes a minute for the name "Morris Dees" to register--he was the guest speaker at a recent university function.  The cup goes something like this:

"THE WAY I SEE IT #54:  'We are all brothers and sisters.  Each face in the rainbow of colors that populates our world is precious and special.  Each adds to the rich treasure of humanity.'  --Morris Dees, civil rights leader and a founder of the Southern Poverty Law Center"

Then below, in fine print:  "This is the author's opinion, not necessarily that of Starbucks."

You may or may not be aware of the phenomenon known as Spaghetti Cat.  I believe this all originated when The Soup went crazy over this brief clip of a stuffed cat in front of a plate of spaghetti.  The image was used on some morning show (The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, so Wikipedia tells me) to censor dialogue, and now The Soup likes to throw it everywhere.  Today I discovered this video/song, and I just can't get enough of it:

I subscribe to richfofo on YouTube primarily for videos of Winston, the exotic shorthair loved the whole Internet world over.  Rich, who writes for VH1's blog in addition to maintaining his own, is a pretty all-around hilarious guy.  Today I was delighted to find this nugget of goodness in my YouTube subscriptions; who could've guessed that Tyra Banks would prove such a useful debate coach?