I am post-fest supreme today.

(Can you tell Brian's at work and I'm occupying myself with Internet?)

Since I was supposed to be doing work for my composition lessons all summer, I decided that with a few weeks left until class starts, I should probably y'know... start that.  I've been--for lack of a better word--cautiously working on a piece for French horn and piano.  I say "cautiously" because I have a bad habit of coming up with a few measures of crap that I like way too much, then obsessing over it so much that nothing else gets done.  While I have been obsessing as per usual, I've also forced myself to try and focus just as much on what's going to come next (as well as what's going to come before... I think I starting writing in the middle of whatever this will end up being).  Now that it's really starting to take shape and go places, this is getting even more difficult.  I know it sounds egotistical or something, but I get so proud of myself for actually doing something that I just want to sit and play what I have over and over, too scared to move on lest I ruin it.

Anyway.  "I'm having fun composing and difficulty staying focused."  Read that and save yourself a paragraph you already read.

The whole process makes me wish I had the equipment/software/knowledge to record and quickly notate my work.  I'm so slow with notation that I pretty much just memorize everything I do, which aside from also being time-consuming is risky if I back off of a project for a few weeks.  Plus, I feel like if I could just record some things and listen to them (without concentrating so much on playing them), I could tweak and edit much more efficiently and just generally write better stuff.

I also feel I could write better stuff if I had the amazing keyboard Brian recently acquired.  (So much jealousy.)  It's pretty much the sexiest thing ever, even if I've no clue how to use 99% of its features.  I keep repeating to myself:  I do not need fancypants gadgetry to make myself a better composer.  I am a worthwhile human being without neat-o keyboard with samples of 50 trillion different samples.  I can write music.  Sort of.

(Brian has such a nifty device because he's all about you know.  Computer-related recording things that I don't understand but that require such amazing pieces of technology.  And because he rocks hard at piano.)

Anyway.  I write all this to take a break from the Keyboard of Awesomeness, where I was getting entirely too excited about modulating back to C-sharp major.  I mean, really.  It shouldn't be such a big deal.  I shall shower because I'm gross and still clad in PJs, then return to the drawing--er, keyboard.